Olympic golf? Yawn | Mumble in the Jungle

Hand on heart, I couldn’t tell you who the Olympic tennis champions are.

I don’t care, and chances are neither do they.

That’s the trouble with the Olympics. For some sports the Games are the absolute summit, the very definition of excellence. For others, it’s a random event on an already choc-a-bloc calendar.

I’ll give you two examples. Roland Schoeman is a four-time Olympian with a gold medal win from 2004. He embodied what it means to be an Olympian and the Olympic ideal sustained him from before the turn of the century. Until Durban last weekend, when he fell just short. His failure to qualify for the 2016 Games shattered him.

Then along comes Adam Scott, the 2013 Masters golf champion. He’ll be skipping the Olympics because he “wants time off”. Fair dinkum.

And then there’s Louis Oosthuizen, who has also withdrawn.

You would think that golf’s big names would be doing cart wheels at the prospect of winning a gold medal, but everyone knows the Majors are golf’s Holy Grail.

The Olympics? Good fun.

Having cracked the Olympic code, golf hasn’t even got it right beyond that. The format is up and down stroke play, not even a team event, and won’t have the strongest field.

A couple of decades ago the Olympics were truly Corinthian in spirit. Former IOC boss Avery Brundage wouldn’t entertain the notion of professionals participating, but once he shuffled off, the doors burst open. How well we remember the original Dream Team basketball superstars of 1992, who were so accomplished their coach never called a single timeout during the shindig.

Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley were among the luminaries that year. They were multi-millionaires in sneakers for whom an NBA championship ring held far greater value.

Professional boxing is also trying to into the act. The world body that oversees amateur boxing is flirting with the idea of allowing professionals to fight for Olympic gold, leading to the perverse suggestion that someone like Floyd Mayweather, who was robbed of gold at the 1992 Olympics, could finally secure some justice.

It’s a dreadful, stupid idea. Just imagine world champion Manny Pacquiao lining up against a 17-year-old from Bermuda.

It’s wrong on so many levels. Former heavyweight champion David Haye summed it up best, labelling it “insane”.

Oscar De La Hoya agrees, although Wladimir Klitschko is taken with the idea; a consequence of taking too many shots to the head no doubt.

It’s easy to see what drives the IOC in wooing sports like tennis and golf. It’s all about getting eyeballs on TV and people tune in to watch people they are familiar with. Big sponsors also come running.

Why not throw in horse racing and Formula One while they’re at it?

It’s true that no-one is really amateur – almost all athletes receive some type of funding – but the measure should be a simple one: is the Olympics the ultimate?

Which brings me to Sevens, which makes its bow in Rio in August?

This is a huge milestone for rugby because it’s the switch for massive funding, which follows Olympic recognition.

For now, the big deal in Sevens is winning the World Series or the World Cup. But the game hasn’t matured enough for either to represent anything in the manner of a Stanley Cup or a Wimbledon crown. Having spoken to a number of Blitzbokke, they’re positively foaming at the mouth at the prospect of winning an Olympic medal. Even a veteran like Bryan Habana, who has won a 15-man World Cup, is like a kid in a sweet shop at the prospect

The Blitzbokke won Commonwealth gold, but an Olympic triumph would be beyond compare.

It’s difficult to imagine Bubba Watson breaking down in tears, as he did after winning the Masters in 2012, were he to claim golf’s Olympic crown.

Much the same in tennis. Remember Jana Novotna’s meltdown, which left her sobbing on the shoulders of the Duchess of Kent after losing the 1993 Wimbledon final?

The Olympics needs to evolve, but golf shouldn’t be part of that change, not when it’s a mere date on golf’s endless treadmill of tournaments.