Joburg – a world farce African city

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UUnderstanding Joburg’s billing system.

 

There are only two ways to deal with the Joburg City Council.

The naïve way is to assume that their billing department knows what it is doing. The other is to accept that mediocrity abounds and to approach their world with an attitude of what the French call laissez faire (to not give a shit).

Four years ago I was lumped with an R80 000 bill. ‘A world class African city,’ proclaimed the slogan on the bill. Never has a lie been so unashamedly stated.

The mess took 18 months to sort out thanks to a staffer I plied with soccer tickets and a DA councillor who helped get things done.

What you must know is that there is no easy way to resolve an issue with the city, as recent events have again proved.

In June I received a bill with 38 separate line items for refuse removal, totaling around R9000.

I wanted to cry.

And so began my chase down Joburg’s great rabbit hole.

Here follows a detail of a maddening journey that began 84 days ago and shows no sign of resolution:

June 8: Mailed joburgconnect@joburg.org.za. I have yet to receive even an acknowledgement.

June 20: Called the help line and spoke to ‘Ayanda’ who kindly provided a reference number.

June 28: Called the help line and spoke to ‘Winky’, who assured me my query was ‘still open’.

July 9: Called the help line and spoke to ‘Mpumi’, who put me on hold for 20 minutes, only for me to be cut off.

July 9: Called the help line back and spoke to ‘Mashidi’. ‘We’re working on it,’ she promised.

July 26: Called the help line and spoke to ‘Pamela’. This time, I was cut off after 30 minutes.

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JJoburg City staff meeting.

July 26: Called the help line and spoke to ‘Lerato’, only for me to be cut off again.

July 26: Called the help line and spoke to ‘Mbali’. ‘It’s still unresolved. We only log queries,’ she said.

August 4: Called the help line and spoke to ‘Charlene’. ‘We’re still working on it . . .’

August 16: Called the help line and spoke to ‘Phumi’. ‘I need to escalate this,’ she told me. ‘I guess some people aren’t doing their job.’

August 16: I tweeted @CityofJoburgZA. No response whatsoever.

August 19: Called the help line and spoke to ‘Africa’. ‘It’s still not resolved, I will escalate it,” I was told. Again.

August 26: Called the help line and spoke to ‘Ginosi’. ‘I’m gonna have to escalate. The query is still open.’

August 26: I tweeted @CityofJoburgZA. No response whatsoever.

Amid all of this mindless toing and froing, an election took place. The mayor lost his job.

Boo-hoo, cried some.

Erm, no.

I measure a mayor on what difference he makes to my life. He was a miserable failure. I measure his performance on the state of the roads, the appalling drivers, the erratic traffic lights, the crime and grime.

I measure him, too, on whether or not billing works.

It’s now September and I’m still stuck in this damn rabbit hole, and not of my doing.

But at least I live in a world class African city, right?

One thought on “Joburg – a world farce African city

  1. The only way you will resolve it is to tell them you are one of “The Guptas”…Had the same in problem in Benoni regarding a water bill…years ago had a problem with an electricity bill which eventually I settled..in the interim unbeknown to me the Benoni Council registered a bond on my house…when I sold it I had to get the council to cancel the bond….good luck to you..

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