You must assume every driver is a dick

This is a must if you don’t want to die. Drivers are reckless at the best of times. Do your best to avoid them and whatever you do, don’t assume they see you or care about your safety.

Bleeding nipples – fact

No-one tells you about this particular affliction. But when you discover it, generally at the end of a long run, it’s too damn late. It feels as if someone has taken a razor blade and cut a layer of skin off your nipple. What it really is is the result of an abrasive running vest chafing against the skin, particularly on a long run (20km+). It’s why they invented plasters.

Not all runners are friendly

The collegial vibe said to exist around road running is a myth. Many passing runners offer a wave and a greeting; many don’t. They’re prissy and too self-absorbed. Pity them.

Start slow

It’s tempting to start super-fast and then slack off. Don’t. Unless you’re Caroline Wostmann, a median pace generally gets you through.

Cyclists are the enemy

Cyclists and road runners do not co-exist. They cannot. Cyclists regards runners with disdain. It’s why they’re unfriendly. The feeling is mutual.

Aim for oncoming traffic

The convention is to run facing oncoming traffic. Many don’t. Again, this is a good way to die. If you’re going to get run over, you may want to see who is doing the driving.

Every PB is a moment to cherish

PB’s are a big deal. Non-runners won’t understand.

Hills kill

Gift Kelehe would probably disagree, but there’s no getting away from the difficulty of mastering climbs. The best is to grit your teeth and get on with it. No hill lasts forever.

Park Run

Whatever your level, Park Runs are a must. They’re everywhere. It’s where the hard-core runners, grannies, fatties and aspirants all rock up, many with their dogs and kids, and give 5km a bash. It’s tremendous fun and a quality reminder of what makes running such a joy.

Joburg’s roads are a runner’s enemy

The roads and pavements are a disgrace. Uneven surfaces, potholes and exposed man-holes are di rigeuer.  You need to run with your eyes wide open, ready for anything. Pity the poor pedestrians who walk them daily.